Tears of a Gingeraffe

the hand of little employment: When I get married

mmemordant:

I’m definitely going to be one of those brides-to-be who constantly crossposts the minutest details about the planning process on Twitter and Facebook unselfconsciously: “Omigod, everyone, I just picked Book Antiqua Gothic instead of Book Antiqua Antegothic for the subheadline font on the Save the…

Grrl, once my citizenship gets revoked, we’ll have ourselves a HUGE ceremony.

I’m talking like, you pull up to the church (or, more appropriately, gay club that we’ve rented out for the evening) in a horse-drawn carriage. Wearing a wedding dress inspired by Grace Kelly’s (designed by me…obvs).

The reception will be…tasteful (if you consider roller-skating drag queens serving canapés to be tasteful).

If anyone dances the Chicken Dance, they will be summarily drawn and quartered by the 4 butchist lesbians in the Tri-state area.

The next director who says this to me finna get CUT

Good god, yes. My ex had the most amazing tattoos ever. I don’t miss him in the slightest…but those tattoos. THOSE TATTOOS!

(via thingsthatmakeyouhorny)

joshmorrissey:

thestrutny:

Photo of an NYC restaurant during the 1977 blackout.  ”No Lights. No Food. But Lots of Liquor.”

Photo by Bryan Alpert, July 13th 1977.

I love this so much

Source: ifyouwatchitbackwards

katefeetie:

Important message: I AM COOL

Also cool for eschewing academic responsiblities for going out and drinking lots of alcohol.

(I USED THE WORD “ESCHEW” I’M COOLER THAN KATIE, EVERYONE)

deathtoeris:

yours is a drill that will pierce the heavens!

Who the hell do you think I am?!

Whenever the weather starts to get nice, no matter where I am, I listen to this song.

This year has been no different - except for the nostalgia.

deathtoeris:

CAPTION CONTEST

“Magic globe tell me, where in the world did my daughter elope to?”

This is a caption contest so reblog with funnier captions than I can come up with. The winner gets a big bowl of self-satisfied.

Left: “But…if I’m holding a world in my hands. Then maybe someone’s holding my world in his hands. Woah”

Right: -“Dude. Dude! BRO! That lion has me seriously freaked out right now”

-“Drink, pledge.”